It’s Not About You…

It’s Not About You…

So, why do you want to get married? How do you plan to keep the love in your relationship from fading into a day-to-day grime of daily chores? Given the increased level of responsibility and sometimes not-so-great experiences in marriage, how can you keep away the feeling of anticlimax? Remember everything you have looked forward to with excitement: a great new job, the perfect house or car? Do you recall what happened to your feelings after a while? So, why would marriage be different?

Once I was discussing with a friend and we realized a great truth (atleast great to us at the time) that everything that is borne of the flesh dies, and only the things of the Spirit last forever. Therefore, if our relationships and marriages are only based on our fleshly desires or feelings, then it can only lead to death. That means *generally speaking* if activities within our relationships only sow towards everyday carnal stuff with little or no spiritual focus, then our so-called feelings of love will eventually give way to frustration; and our elation of having a great mate will become mundane (at best, if not apathy!).
 
So, the best way to have love eternal, is to maintain God-focus from the onset, daily seeking His greater purpose in your relationship and marriage. It is about Knowing and Doing what God has called you both to do to fulfill His divine purpose here on earth, as well as, through your marriage. This is how we daily sow to the things of the Spirit and we keep our relationships vibrant and full of “Life” that causes our love to last forever.
 
So as we wrap up this exposition on Ruth, we realize the story isn’t really about her and her need to get married. The book of Ruth begins and ends with Naomi’s journey to restoration. Through Ruth’s dedication and commitment, God was able to use her as the instrument to restore Naomi’s life from grief, poverty and bitterness (Mara) to a place where the women of the town rejoiced with Naomi for having a son in Chapter 4:16-17. Ruth had found a greater purpose than just getting married and was celebrated for her definitive role in esteeming and restoring Naomi’s family line.
 
So, the real question is, what is your greater purpose? Whose life have you been called to transform? Who is God going to reach as a result of your marriage? And how is God using you to make a lasting impact on peoples lives? If you have not yet identified this, then the prayer now should be “God, what would you have me do?” as you start to define what your purpose is.
 
Please understand that our purpose is not something that just happens while we wait around. Just like at the beginning of Ruth 2, we have to make a conscious decision to find out who we should be serving, and what we should be doing that will place us on that divine path where we will “happen upon” our mates. We do not need to spend hours praying and crying out to God for a mate. (especially when you realise there’s really nowhere in the bible any woman spent hours agonizing over finding her mate, except perhaps in Songs of Solomon and even she found him shortly afterwards). The bible is clear None shall lack her mate” and that settles it. We only need to declare and confess God’s promises to us about our marriage while we walk in His purpose and find our joy in the Holy Spirit (no matter how hard) as we wait on His perfect timing.
 
Once we can define this, and walk in it, then God can use us and the future mates (we will certainly meet on that journey) to fulfill His plans and purposes, which will extend beyond our own lifetime into our future generations. This is what the bible talks about in Psalm 112 where a righteous man leaves a good inheritance for his future generations and his children are exceedingly blessed and mighty upon the earth. We need to realize our future marriages are not just about us, and make it much more than just having a mate to do things with.
 
We leave Ruth with a sense of destiny that her life impacted Naomi’s, Boaz and had a lineage that brought the Messiah. Let us seek God now and begin to formulate (or clarify) the vision of what He wants us to accomplish now, and in eternity, through our marriages.

Scripture

Galatians 6:7-8 Don’t be deceived, God is not mocked, for what things a man shall sow, those also shall he reap. For he that soweth in his flesh, of the flesh also shall reap corruption. But he that soweth in the spirit, of the spirit shall reap life everlasting

Prayer

Read Galatians 6:8
Dear Lord, Thank you for your word which gives me strength. I pray that you will help me to sow to the Spirit and not just to the flesh; that my future mate and I will have an eternal focus in our union and will make you and your divine purpose the focal point of our relationship. I decree upon my future marriage that your agape love will be our foundation and the Holy Spirit will breathe His life into our relationship to keep the love eternal. We will daily sow to things which are eternal and not just temporal. We will focus on your vision for our lives together and we will seek first your kingdom, knowing that all other things will be added. I pray for rich companionship and your love that passes all understanding to guard our hearts and minds.

Read Ephesians 1:17-19
Lord I pray that you give me the spirit of wisdom and revelation that will open the eyes of my understanding to see what is the hope of your calling for my life. That I will look beyond myself and needs, and seek your plans and purpose for my life. I thank you for the path you have set before me and that your plans for me are of good and not of evil to give me a future and a hope. I believe you will guide me to your perfect will for my life and I will walk in it. I will wait on you to hear from you. I come against every spirit of distraction and from every voice that conflicts with the word and voice of God and say peace be still. I declare that In your stillness, I will hear your voice and I know what to do next. I thank you, Holy Spirit, because you are my guide, my anchor and you will lead me the way I should go.

Read Romans 8:13
Lord, I ask for your strength to mortify the deeds of the flesh, that I will increasingly sow to the spirit and less to carnal things. I pray that my marriage will not focus on carnality but we will build each other by pray in the Holy spirit, studying and declaring your word and doing the acceptable things you want us to do. Holy Spirit, help us to renew our minds and develop minds that focus on your word and not the things of this world. Help us to have the mind of Christ and develop our relationship, emotions, passions and interests in the things of the Spirit.

Read 2 Corinthians 2:15
I thank you for my future marriage, that it will be a blessing to those around us. We will daily purpose to do good and make an impact in the lives of those around us to you glory. Lord, I decree that all the glory will be yours in my marriage. Your name will be glorified because we live, move and have our existence only in you. I decree that joy unspeakable full of glory will be richly abundant in us as we carry out your purpose. Help us to know what it is and walk in it. Thank you for the blessing of marriage in which we will be fruitful and multiply. You will enlarge our coasts and help us to make a difference in the lives of others to your glory.

In Jesus name.

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Weekly message

This week Jimmy Evansteaches about “Affair proofing your marriage”…Enjoy…

Listen here

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